I have the biggest cock.
Now as that's sorted let's get back to the debate.
Monday, 30 August 2010
There is no point in Arguing
When it comes to WMA discussions there is a certain point when the discussion switches from objective debate to macho posturing. It becomes less about whether you have the right information and more about who has the biggest cock.
I have the biggest cock.
Now as that's sorted let's get back to the debate.
I have the biggest cock.
Now as that's sorted let's get back to the debate.
Sunday, 29 August 2010
A Hidden Society
There is an organisation within the world of WMA that you may not know much about. Its primary goal is not the furtherence of the martial arts of Europe, it has a number of other goals. I'm going to tell you some of the things they say about themselves.
They claim to be “dedicated to the creation of a more evolved human” and they claim to use “magickal rites” in the furtherance of this goal. They are not Wiccan, but they say “the wiccan practitioner and ceremonial magician would find some of our ritual familiar. We differ strongly from most other magical groups in that we invoke our deities purely as aspects of our collective energies; they have been created by us and we do not believe that they are separate and independent intelligences."
I'm trying to stick to quoting objectively from their literature, but I don't think I can. I am utterly gobsmacked by the ridiculous nature of their claims.
They have a “Magical System”, they are “dedicated to the preservation of honor, nobility, arcane wisdom, and martial excellence” they have their own language and have created an entire mythos upon which they base their idea of Chivalry.
They are of course The Order of Selohaar. Don't take my word for it, go look at their site. http://www.selohaar.org/ it's all there for everyone to see.
Most of us have enjoyed the occasional fantasy book or film in the past, some of us probably played role playing games in our youth, but it takes someone very special to dedicate their life to a Pseudo-Medieval Order of “Chivalry” based on their own terrible stories. In all honesty if that sort of thing appeals you'd be better of with Scientology.
That being said I may be wrong (I'm laughing inside at the very possibility), perhaps Sir Christian truly is sent to guide us all and one day we'll all be sitting around reformed concrete garden ornaments wearing poor quality heraldic tabards at one of our “gathers” and the world will truly be a better place. Maybe they will have managed to use their "Magick" (why the hell do wackos always have to put a k on the end of that word?) to create a more evolved human.
But I suspect not.
If you want to join a long established order with a system of morality then try The Freemasons, if you want to wear ridiculous clothes that look like something from an Errol Flynn movie then join the SCA. Of course if you can't get into the Freemasons, and aren't good enough to be awarded enough rank in the SCA then maybe you should join Selohaar, you'll fit right in.
If you're already in The Order of Selohaar, why not drop the crap and simply train the way the rest of us do. You'll get a lot more respect from a lot more people.
They claim to be “dedicated to the creation of a more evolved human” and they claim to use “magickal rites” in the furtherance of this goal. They are not Wiccan, but they say “the wiccan practitioner and ceremonial magician would find some of our ritual familiar. We differ strongly from most other magical groups in that we invoke our deities purely as aspects of our collective energies; they have been created by us and we do not believe that they are separate and independent intelligences."
I'm trying to stick to quoting objectively from their literature, but I don't think I can. I am utterly gobsmacked by the ridiculous nature of their claims.
They have a “Magical System”, they are “dedicated to the preservation of honor, nobility, arcane wisdom, and martial excellence” they have their own language and have created an entire mythos upon which they base their idea of Chivalry.
They are of course The Order of Selohaar. Don't take my word for it, go look at their site. http://www.selohaar.org/ it's all there for everyone to see.
Most of us have enjoyed the occasional fantasy book or film in the past, some of us probably played role playing games in our youth, but it takes someone very special to dedicate their life to a Pseudo-Medieval Order of “Chivalry” based on their own terrible stories. In all honesty if that sort of thing appeals you'd be better of with Scientology.
That being said I may be wrong (I'm laughing inside at the very possibility), perhaps Sir Christian truly is sent to guide us all and one day we'll all be sitting around reformed concrete garden ornaments wearing poor quality heraldic tabards at one of our “gathers” and the world will truly be a better place. Maybe they will have managed to use their "Magick" (why the hell do wackos always have to put a k on the end of that word?) to create a more evolved human.
But I suspect not.
If you want to join a long established order with a system of morality then try The Freemasons, if you want to wear ridiculous clothes that look like something from an Errol Flynn movie then join the SCA. Of course if you can't get into the Freemasons, and aren't good enough to be awarded enough rank in the SCA then maybe you should join Selohaar, you'll fit right in.
If you're already in The Order of Selohaar, why not drop the crap and simply train the way the rest of us do. You'll get a lot more respect from a lot more people.
Friday, 27 August 2010
Arrogance, Tournaments and Orange Women
I was driving down a country lane today when a giant 4x4 came screaming round a blind corner and almost rammed me off the road. The arrogance people show when they feel safe and secure in their own little personal cocoon never ceases to amaze me.
It got me to thinking about an interesting discussion going on at Swordforum at the moment.
God I feel dirty just saying that.
But its true. Something interesting is happening at Swordforum.
Nope, it doesn't get nicer for saying it twice.
It's enjoyably antagonistic and there are clearly two separate camps. Those who feel tournaments are a good thing, and those who don't.
The main gist of it seems to be that one side feels that fighting in tournaments make you a better fighter, the other side feels that tournament fighting makes you a worse fighter.
Just look at the videos, they show double kills all the time. To quote the ineffable Greg Mele it is simply “replicating bad historical fencing”.
I had to think about this for a while before I realised why it was just as much fresh steaming bullcrap.
The fact that almost no-one can do what the manuals say in a tournament fight does not mean that tournaments are crap, it means we are. Every single one of us, even the best fighter out there, is not a patch on the Masters who created the systems we all study.
The manuals we use as the basis for our systems were written by trained experienced swordsmen, we are neither, and never will be. We can't put ourselves in the same category as people such as Fiore however much me might want to. We can't even put ourselves in the same category as the shittest student ever to study under the least skilled swordmaster. To even consider for a moment that we, in our pathetic renn-faire costumes and badly fitting armour might know more about fighting than these people who lived or died by their level of skill is arrogance of the highest level. Higher even than the orange woman who nearly killed my in her Porsche Cayenne.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not coming down in the camp of the Starship Troopers in their bastardized hockey armour with their oversized toy swords, but I'm gonna keep following the lovely chaps over at Swordforum for the time being and just enjoy the ride. Whether I'll end up in a car crash with an arrogant idiot who can't see beyond the comfort of their own little world remains to be seen.
It got me to thinking about an interesting discussion going on at Swordforum at the moment.
God I feel dirty just saying that.
But its true. Something interesting is happening at Swordforum.
Nope, it doesn't get nicer for saying it twice.
It's enjoyably antagonistic and there are clearly two separate camps. Those who feel tournaments are a good thing, and those who don't.
The main gist of it seems to be that one side feels that fighting in tournaments make you a better fighter, the other side feels that tournament fighting makes you a worse fighter.
Just look at the videos, they show double kills all the time. To quote the ineffable Greg Mele it is simply “replicating bad historical fencing”.
I had to think about this for a while before I realised why it was just as much fresh steaming bullcrap.
The fact that almost no-one can do what the manuals say in a tournament fight does not mean that tournaments are crap, it means we are. Every single one of us, even the best fighter out there, is not a patch on the Masters who created the systems we all study.
The manuals we use as the basis for our systems were written by trained experienced swordsmen, we are neither, and never will be. We can't put ourselves in the same category as people such as Fiore however much me might want to. We can't even put ourselves in the same category as the shittest student ever to study under the least skilled swordmaster. To even consider for a moment that we, in our pathetic renn-faire costumes and badly fitting armour might know more about fighting than these people who lived or died by their level of skill is arrogance of the highest level. Higher even than the orange woman who nearly killed my in her Porsche Cayenne.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not coming down in the camp of the Starship Troopers in their bastardized hockey armour with their oversized toy swords, but I'm gonna keep following the lovely chaps over at Swordforum for the time being and just enjoy the ride. Whether I'll end up in a car crash with an arrogant idiot who can't see beyond the comfort of their own little world remains to be seen.
Sunday, 22 August 2010
Hi Honey, I'm home.
Hello.
Yes it's Hemaboy again.
I can almost hear the collected sighs of relief.
How did you cope without me?
Heaven only knows, but you don't have to struggle on in the dark without the shining light of my opinion to guide you any more. I'm back.
How long it will last is another question, but I have been biting my lip trying to keep quiet for such a long time that I've pretty much chewed off my entire face. My Doctor tells me it isn't good for me to keep holding it in so I suspect there will be a few posts before I put my feet up for another rest.
The problem is of course that now I have made the decision to start educating the rest of the world with my erudite discourse I am at a loss as to where to start.
There's so much to choose from.
If you know of anything that deserves the Hemaboy treatment why not email me? hemaboy99 AT googlemail DOT com
Also please remember that Hemaboy is pseudonymous for a reason. If you think you know who I am and want to be certain. Email me. I'll let you know if you are right, just please keep it to yourself.
Yes it's Hemaboy again.
I can almost hear the collected sighs of relief.
How did you cope without me?
Heaven only knows, but you don't have to struggle on in the dark without the shining light of my opinion to guide you any more. I'm back.
How long it will last is another question, but I have been biting my lip trying to keep quiet for such a long time that I've pretty much chewed off my entire face. My Doctor tells me it isn't good for me to keep holding it in so I suspect there will be a few posts before I put my feet up for another rest.
The problem is of course that now I have made the decision to start educating the rest of the world with my erudite discourse I am at a loss as to where to start.
There's so much to choose from.
If you know of anything that deserves the Hemaboy treatment why not email me? hemaboy99 AT googlemail DOT com
Also please remember that Hemaboy is pseudonymous for a reason. If you think you know who I am and want to be certain. Email me. I'll let you know if you are right, just please keep it to yourself.
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Short and Sweet
I like girls.
They smell nice, they are pleasant to look at and they are better at HEMA.
Seriously, they really are.
1) They are more precise with their techniques.
2) They don't have the competitive testostorone thing going on that guys have which stops us admitting we are getting it wrong.
3) They tend to rely on accuracy, rather than simply bull their way through with brute strength.
Not only that but they have had to overcome a whole raft of cultural and social stereotypes to get to the level they are at. So even if you know a girl in HEMA and think you are better than her, you are wrong.
In every way that matters she is far and away superior to you.
Girls also tend to be short and sweet.
Just like this post.
They smell nice, they are pleasant to look at and they are better at HEMA.
Seriously, they really are.
1) They are more precise with their techniques.
2) They don't have the competitive testostorone thing going on that guys have which stops us admitting we are getting it wrong.
3) They tend to rely on accuracy, rather than simply bull their way through with brute strength.
Not only that but they have had to overcome a whole raft of cultural and social stereotypes to get to the level they are at. So even if you know a girl in HEMA and think you are better than her, you are wrong.
In every way that matters she is far and away superior to you.
Girls also tend to be short and sweet.
Just like this post.
Monday, 16 March 2009
Great Expectations
I suspect I'm not alone in having wondered if the few fragments of manuscript detailing the art of the longsword in England could ever be combined to make a workable system.
To date the vast majority of the work seems to vary between decidedly average at best to unbelievably poor at worst. A new book promises to change that.
Brandon Heslop is the public face of the duo of authors responsible for the forthcoming title "Lessons on the English Longsword".
You have to admit he has an interesting strategy.
Announce the book, start a blog and upload regular video updates to try and generate a frenzy of interest for when the book finally hits the shelves.
Apparently there will also be a DVD. This to me is the most intriguing aspect of it.
It's just possible that this may well be the way things are done in future. It certainly seems as if the book/DVD combo might go some way to solving the problem of how to get enough practical instruction in to a book and theory into a DVD.
Of course that all depends on whether it is any good.
Unlike SPWH I won't fall into the trap of assuming it can't be because I am not familiar with either of the authors. But it is certainly a worry. In fiction the general rule is that the more you write the better you get. In adult education you want your teacher to have experience of teaching. Preferably at the forefront of their field.
So perhaps Stephenpaul is right.
Good grief did I really just type that?
Blimey.
It'd be a first if they are.
Anyway, back to the main thrust.
We can expect a "complete lexicon of the known terminology".
Sounds impressive doesn't it?
Well yes, initially.
But it's not the known terminology that I have trouble with. It's the unknown terminology.
"This book will put the final nail in the coffin in the argument that the German and Italian traditions are radically different from each other"
That's quite a claim.
Of course it depends on how we define the word "radically".
Oh who am I trying to kid. I could pick holes in the semantics all night if I wanted to. The truth is that I don't.
I'm looking forward to seeing it.
Brandon hasn't done a lot to help himself by marching onto one of the more popular forums, telling folk they are uninformed and then marching straight out again but I suspect he doesn't care much for their opinion as long as they buy his book.
I for one will be buying it.
Either I will have a worthwhile addition to my ever expanding library, or I will have another target for ridicule.
A win win situation for me I think.
So Brandon, the ball is in your court.
Make it wonderful, or make it appalling. Just for the love of God don't make it mediocre.
To date the vast majority of the work seems to vary between decidedly average at best to unbelievably poor at worst. A new book promises to change that.
Brandon Heslop is the public face of the duo of authors responsible for the forthcoming title "Lessons on the English Longsword".
You have to admit he has an interesting strategy.
Announce the book, start a blog and upload regular video updates to try and generate a frenzy of interest for when the book finally hits the shelves.
Apparently there will also be a DVD. This to me is the most intriguing aspect of it.
It's just possible that this may well be the way things are done in future. It certainly seems as if the book/DVD combo might go some way to solving the problem of how to get enough practical instruction in to a book and theory into a DVD.
Of course that all depends on whether it is any good.
Unlike SPWH I won't fall into the trap of assuming it can't be because I am not familiar with either of the authors. But it is certainly a worry. In fiction the general rule is that the more you write the better you get. In adult education you want your teacher to have experience of teaching. Preferably at the forefront of their field.
So perhaps Stephenpaul is right.
Good grief did I really just type that?
Blimey.
It'd be a first if they are.
Anyway, back to the main thrust.
We can expect a "complete lexicon of the known terminology".
Sounds impressive doesn't it?
Well yes, initially.
But it's not the known terminology that I have trouble with. It's the unknown terminology.
"This book will put the final nail in the coffin in the argument that the German and Italian traditions are radically different from each other"
That's quite a claim.
Of course it depends on how we define the word "radically".
Oh who am I trying to kid. I could pick holes in the semantics all night if I wanted to. The truth is that I don't.
I'm looking forward to seeing it.
Brandon hasn't done a lot to help himself by marching onto one of the more popular forums, telling folk they are uninformed and then marching straight out again but I suspect he doesn't care much for their opinion as long as they buy his book.
I for one will be buying it.
Either I will have a worthwhile addition to my ever expanding library, or I will have another target for ridicule.
A win win situation for me I think.
So Brandon, the ball is in your court.
Make it wonderful, or make it appalling. Just for the love of God don't make it mediocre.
Monday, 12 January 2009
Why I don't give a fuck what you think
This month saw the launch of the Atheist Bus campaign. It is a worldwide campaign placing free-thinking slogans on the side of buses, and thanks to some effective fundraising, on posters too.
It has drawn some pretty passionate responses.
Some people think it is a wonderful idea, that we should do everything in our power to point out the logical fallacies inherent to organised religion. Some people think that it is the Devil's work and those responsible will burn in hell.
Either way it has provoked some fairly impressive reactions.
Will it do what it is supposed to though?
I doubt it.
What does this have to do with WMA I hear you ask.
Well if you hold on for just a moment longer you will see where I am going.
The atheist bus campaign is designed to make people think about the fact that there might not be a God. It has a specific goal, and that goal is conversion to atheism. I very much doubt that it will achieve anything of the sort.
I'm different.
I have a goal but I don't give a shit what you think.
Unlike the atheist bus campaign I don't expect, or even want, you to agree with me.
Personally I think that what I say is pretty basic stuff. It is simple fact dressed up in fancy language in order to get your attention.
But why would I want your attention if I don't give a shit what you think?
A good question.
I couldn't give a flying fuck what you think about what I say, as long as (and here's the catch) you do think about what I say.
As soon as you close your mind to other opinions then you lose every advantage that being a practitioner of HEMA gives you. Because our art is new we have to be able to back up our ideas with evidence. We have to be open to other ideas. We have to constantly test both our technique and our interpretations in every possible way. Only whilst we are still striving to prove ourselves wrong can we be sure that we are on the right path. As soon as we settle back and choose to stop thinking then we might as well pack in and go home.
So I don't care if you think I am a twat (yes Herbert I am talking to you) as long as you don't stop thinking about what you do. As long as you don't assume that I cannot have anything to offer because I am a twat. Sometimes the truth comes to us through the strangest medium.
I also don't care if you think I am intelligent, witty, and insightful. As long as you question what I say.
So perhaps I do have an agenda after all.
Perhaps I too am an atheist bus.
After all, you wait ages for an atheist bus and then 800 come along at once.
It has drawn some pretty passionate responses.
Some people think it is a wonderful idea, that we should do everything in our power to point out the logical fallacies inherent to organised religion. Some people think that it is the Devil's work and those responsible will burn in hell.
Either way it has provoked some fairly impressive reactions.
Will it do what it is supposed to though?
I doubt it.
What does this have to do with WMA I hear you ask.
Well if you hold on for just a moment longer you will see where I am going.
The atheist bus campaign is designed to make people think about the fact that there might not be a God. It has a specific goal, and that goal is conversion to atheism. I very much doubt that it will achieve anything of the sort.
I'm different.
I have a goal but I don't give a shit what you think.
Unlike the atheist bus campaign I don't expect, or even want, you to agree with me.
Personally I think that what I say is pretty basic stuff. It is simple fact dressed up in fancy language in order to get your attention.
But why would I want your attention if I don't give a shit what you think?
A good question.
I couldn't give a flying fuck what you think about what I say, as long as (and here's the catch) you do think about what I say.
As soon as you close your mind to other opinions then you lose every advantage that being a practitioner of HEMA gives you. Because our art is new we have to be able to back up our ideas with evidence. We have to be open to other ideas. We have to constantly test both our technique and our interpretations in every possible way. Only whilst we are still striving to prove ourselves wrong can we be sure that we are on the right path. As soon as we settle back and choose to stop thinking then we might as well pack in and go home.
So I don't care if you think I am a twat (yes Herbert I am talking to you) as long as you don't stop thinking about what you do. As long as you don't assume that I cannot have anything to offer because I am a twat. Sometimes the truth comes to us through the strangest medium.
I also don't care if you think I am intelligent, witty, and insightful. As long as you question what I say.
So perhaps I do have an agenda after all.
Perhaps I too am an atheist bus.
After all, you wait ages for an atheist bus and then 800 come along at once.
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