Hema Boy

One word

2010-09-16T08:03:00.002+12:00

I seem to have riled a few people recently.

I have one word for you.

Excellent

Source material

2010-09-08T04:48:00.004+12:00

The tournament debate seems to be dying down a little now thank the Lord, but not before it has found it's way onto pretty much every forum on the internet. One line that I found particularly memorable was “2 people square off with faux swords (bamboo or plastic) and they try to hit each other for score”.

Don't worry, I'm not going to keep flogging the dead horse that is the tournargument but I simply can't ignore that line.

Before I go on I'd like to direct you to one of my older posts.

Specifically the one currently labouring under the title of “Removed Post 3”. I'd like to further draw your attention to the part where I say:

“You are an idiot.”

I'll leave it up to you to figure out who I'm referring to this time.

Now that's out of the way lets get on with this post.

“Faux swords”?????

I've got some news for you Mr Poster who I shall not name. Nylon and bamboo simulators may well be faux swords, but so are blunt steel simulators. Unless it is sharp it isn't a sword, it is a simulator. Or to use your eloquent turn of phrase a faux sword.

Now I'm assuming you don't train with sharp steel, because if you did you would be a fuckwit beyond all measure, so you are making a compromise. You are accepting that different blade geometry is ok for you and that the material is the most important thing.

Here's some more news for you.

Blunt steel is not the same as sharp steel. The very thing that makes it safer than sharp steel changes the way it reacts to impact and pressure.

Shinai aren't perfect, wooden wasters aren't perfect, nylon wasters aren't perfect and blunt steel isn't perfect.

Live with it.

Train with the lot and accept whatever compromise you have to make. Just stop pretending that because you use steel you are more of a martial artist than people who happily train with any material.

You aren't.

Incidentally, it may be worth mentioning that a tournament competitior was hospitalised recently after a steel weapon snapped and ended up in his chest.

Steel breaks. Bend it enough and it will snap. The problem is no-one knows how many times "enough" is. Steel is inherently more dangerous than the alternatives.

Now I'd like to direct you to the post entitled:

“There is no point in arguing”

Stop pretending that using only steel shows you've got massive balls. It just makes you look like a twat.

Here's a picture of a puppy in case all that ranting made you sad.

There is no point in Arguing

2010-08-30T20:08:00.003+12:00

When it comes to WMA discussions there is a certain point when the discussion switches from objective debate to macho posturing. It becomes less about whether you have the right information and more about who has the biggest cock.

I have the biggest cock.

Now as that's sorted let's get back to the debate.

A Hidden Society

2010-08-29T00:11:00.005+12:00

There is an organisation within the world of WMA that you may not know much about. Its primary goal is not the furtherence of the martial arts of Europe, it has a number of other goals. I'm going to tell you some of the things they say about themselves.

They claim to be “dedicated to the creation of a more evolved human” and they claim to use “magickal rites” in the furtherance of this goal. They are not Wiccan, but they say “the wiccan practitioner and ceremonial magician would find some of our ritual familiar. We differ strongly from most other magical groups in that we invoke our deities purely as aspects of our collective energies; they have been created by us and we do not believe that they are separate and independent intelligences."

I'm trying to stick to quoting objectively from their literature, but I don't think I can. I am utterly gobsmacked by the ridiculous nature of their claims.

They have a “Magical System”, they are “dedicated to the preservation of honor, nobility, arcane wisdom, and martial excellence” they have their own language and have created an entire mythos upon which they base their idea of Chivalry.

They are of course The Order of Selohaar. Don't take my word for it, go look at their site. http://www.selohaar.org/ it's all there for everyone to see.

Most of us have enjoyed the occasional fantasy book or film in the past, some of us probably played role playing games in our youth, but it takes someone very special to dedicate their life to a Pseudo-Medieval Order of “Chivalry” based on their own terrible stories. In all honesty if that sort of thing appeals you'd be better of with Scientology.

That being said I may be wrong (I'm laughing inside at the very possibility), perhaps Sir Christian truly is sent to guide us all and one day we'll all be sitting around reformed concrete garden ornaments wearing poor quality heraldic tabards at one of our “gathers” and the world will truly be a better place. Maybe they will have managed to use their "Magick" (why the hell do wackos always have to put a k on the end of that word?) to create a more evolved human.

But I suspect not.

If you want to join a long established order with a system of morality then try The Freemasons, if you want to wear ridiculous clothes that look like something from an Errol Flynn movie then join the SCA. Of course if you can't get into the Freemasons, and aren't good enough to be awarded enough rank in the SCA then maybe you should join Selohaar, you'll fit right in.

If you're already in The Order of Selohaar, why not drop the crap and simply train the way the rest of us do. You'll get a lot more respect from a lot more people.

Arrogance, Tournaments and Orange Women

2010-08-27T05:53:00.003+12:00

I was driving down a country lane today when a giant 4x4 came screaming round a blind corner and almost rammed me off the road. The arrogance people show when they feel safe and secure in their own little personal cocoon never ceases to amaze me.

It got me to thinking about an interesting discussion going on at Swordforum at the moment.

God I feel dirty just saying that.

But its true. Something interesting is happening at Swordforum.

Nope, it doesn't get nicer for saying it twice.

It's enjoyably antagonistic and there are clearly two separate camps. Those who feel tournaments are a good thing, and those who don't.

The main gist of it seems to be that one side feels that fighting in tournaments make you a better fighter, the other side feels that tournament fighting makes you a worse fighter.

Just look at the videos, they show double kills all the time. To quote the ineffable Greg Mele it is simply “replicating bad historical fencing”.

I had to think about this for a while before I realised why it was just as much fresh steaming bullcrap.

The fact that almost no-one can do what the manuals say in a tournament fight does not mean that tournaments are crap, it means we are. Every single one of us, even the best fighter out there, is not a patch on the Masters who created the systems we all study.

The manuals we use as the basis for our systems were written by trained experienced swordsmen, we are neither, and never will be. We can't put ourselves in the same category as people such as Fiore however much me might want to. We can't even put ourselves in the same category as the shittest student ever to study under the least skilled swordmaster. To even consider for a moment that we, in our pathetic renn-faire costumes and badly fitting armour might know more about fighting than these people who lived or died by their level of skill is arrogance of the highest level. Higher even than the orange woman who nearly killed my in her Porsche Cayenne.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not coming down in the camp of the Starship Troopers in their bastardized hockey armour with their oversized toy swords, but I'm gonna keep following the lovely chaps over at Swordforum for the time being and just enjoy the ride. Whether I'll end up in a car crash with an arrogant idiot who can't see beyond the comfort of their own little world remains to be seen.

Hi Honey, I'm home.

2010-08-22T02:02:00.003+12:00

Hello.

Yes it's Hemaboy again.

I can almost hear the collected sighs of relief.

How did you cope without me?

Heaven only knows, but you don't have to struggle on in the dark without the shining light of my opinion to guide you any more. I'm back.

How long it will last is another question, but I have been biting my lip trying to keep quiet for such a long time that I've pretty much chewed off my entire face. My Doctor tells me it isn't good for me to keep holding it in so I suspect there will be a few posts before I put my feet up for another rest.

The problem is of course that now I have made the decision to start educating the rest of the world with my erudite discourse I am at a loss as to where to start.

There's so much to choose from.

If you know of anything that deserves the Hemaboy treatment why not email me? hemaboy99 AT googlemail DOT com

Also please remember that Hemaboy is pseudonymous for a reason. If you think you know who I am and want to be certain. Email me. I'll let you know if you are right, just please keep it to yourself.

Short and Sweet

2009-04-30T23:52:00.004+12:00

I like girls.

They smell nice, they are pleasant to look at and they are better at HEMA.

Seriously, they really are.

1) They are more precise with their techniques.

2) They don't have the competitive testostorone thing going on that guys have which stops us admitting we are getting it wrong.

3) They tend to rely on accuracy, rather than simply bull their way through with brute strength.

Not only that but they have had to overcome a whole raft of cultural and social stereotypes to get to the level they are at. So even if you know a girl in HEMA and think you are better than her, you are wrong.

In every way that matters she is far and away superior to you.

Girls also tend to be short and sweet.

Just like this post.

Great Expectations

2009-03-16T11:19:00.004+13:00

I suspect I'm not alone in having wondered if the few fragments of manuscript detailing the art of the longsword in England could ever be combined to make a workable system.

To date the vast majority of the work seems to vary between decidedly average at best to unbelievably poor at worst. A new book promises to change that.

Brandon Heslop is the public face of the duo of authors responsible for the forthcoming title "Lessons on the English Longsword".

You have to admit he has an interesting strategy.

Announce the book, start a blog and upload regular video updates to try and generate a frenzy of interest for when the book finally hits the shelves.

Apparently there will also be a DVD. This to me is the most intriguing aspect of it.

It's just possible that this may well be the way things are done in future. It certainly seems as if the book/DVD combo might go some way to solving the problem of how to get enough practical instruction in to a book and theory into a DVD.

Of course that all depends on whether it is any good.

Unlike SPWH I won't fall into the trap of assuming it can't be because I am not familiar with either of the authors. But it is certainly a worry. In fiction the general rule is that the more you write the better you get. In adult education you want your teacher to have experience of teaching. Preferably at the forefront of their field.

So perhaps Stephenpaul is right.

Good grief did I really just type that?

Blimey.

It'd be a first if they are.

Anyway, back to the main thrust.

We can expect a "complete lexicon of the known terminology".

Sounds impressive doesn't it?

Well yes, initially.

But it's not the known terminology that I have trouble with. It's the unknown terminology.

"This book will put the final nail in the coffin in the argument that the German and Italian traditions are radically different from each other"

That's quite a claim.

Of course it depends on how we define the word "radically".

Oh who am I trying to kid. I could pick holes in the semantics all night if I wanted to. The truth is that I don't.

I'm looking forward to seeing it.

Brandon hasn't done a lot to help himself by marching onto one of the more popular forums, telling folk they are uninformed and then marching straight out again but I suspect he doesn't care much for their opinion as long as they buy his book.

I for one will be buying it.

Either I will have a worthwhile addition to my ever expanding library, or I will have another target for ridicule.

A win win situation for me I think.

So Brandon, the ball is in your court.

Make it wonderful, or make it appalling. Just for the love of God don't make it mediocre.

Why I don't give a fuck what you think

2009-01-12T09:32:00.004+13:00

This month saw the launch of the Atheist Bus campaign. It is a worldwide campaign placing free-thinking slogans on the side of buses, and thanks to some effective fundraising, on posters too.

It has drawn some pretty passionate responses.

Some people think it is a wonderful idea, that we should do everything in our power to point out the logical fallacies inherent to organised religion. Some people think that it is the Devil's work and those responsible will burn in hell.

Either way it has provoked some fairly impressive reactions.

Will it do what it is supposed to though?

I doubt it.

What does this have to do with WMA I hear you ask.

Well if you hold on for just a moment longer you will see where I am going.

The atheist bus campaign is designed to make people think about the fact that there might not be a God. It has a specific goal, and that goal is conversion to atheism. I very much doubt that it will achieve anything of the sort.

I'm different.

I have a goal but I don't give a shit what you think.

Unlike the atheist bus campaign I don't expect, or even want, you to agree with me.

Personally I think that what I say is pretty basic stuff. It is simple fact dressed up in fancy language in order to get your attention.

But why would I want your attention if I don't give a shit what you think?

A good question.

I couldn't give a flying fuck what you think about what I say, as long as (and here's the catch) you do think about what I say.

As soon as you close your mind to other opinions then you lose every advantage that being a practitioner of HEMA gives you. Because our art is new we have to be able to back up our ideas with evidence. We have to be open to other ideas. We have to constantly test both our technique and our interpretations in every possible way. Only whilst we are still striving to prove ourselves wrong can we be sure that we are on the right path. As soon as we settle back and choose to stop thinking then we might as well pack in and go home.

So I don't care if you think I am a twat (yes Herbert I am talking to you) as long as you don't stop thinking about what you do. As long as you don't assume that I cannot have anything to offer because I am a twat. Sometimes the truth comes to us through the strangest medium.

I also don't care if you think I am intelligent, witty, and insightful. As long as you question what I say.

So perhaps I do have an agenda after all.

Perhaps I too am an atheist bus.

After all, you wait ages for an atheist bus and then 800 come along at once.

Tag and I'm it.

2009-01-12T00:05:00.004+13:00

It would seem that I have been tagged by James Marwood of www.safeism.com to reveal seven facts about myself. I considered not bothering but didn't think that was sporting.

However, part and parcel of the Hemaboy persona is his anonymity and so whilst I won't be revealing whether they are true or not here are seven things people say about me.

Some say he is Paul B....and the stig.
Some say he doesn't even read the Schola forums!
Some say he is not Dave.
Some say he is just a cock.
Some say he is the manifestation of disgruntled WMAists everywhere.
Some say he is a Legend.
Some say he is too stupid to get it.

As to tagging other people, I notice there are currently seven people following this blog, so I tag them.

Chivalry, Idiots and Historical Justification

2009-01-04T23:23:00.005+13:00

In 1344 Edward III, disappointed at the dropping standards of chivalry amongst his knights, announced the formation of a new order of chivalry. The Order of the Round Table was designed to draw directly on the legends of King Arthur and his Knights to set an example of the kind of behaviour the King expected of his peers.

It was a nice idea, but it smacks of the kind of behaviour you expect of a grumpy old man. Odd for a King only 32 years old. Perhaps it was the start of a mid life crisis.

Where is this going I hear you ask?

Well it is simple.

There seems to be a section of the WMA community (I know, I know, it's a handy term though so I'm going to use it however hypocritical that makes me) that claims we can only ever truly master the arts we study if we also take on the ethical framework of those that practiced it originally. They claim that in order to learn to fight with a sword we must also give of our time to help those less fortunate than ourselves. They don't tell us how this helps, but they insist that it is necessary.

Perhaps they are right.

Perhaps we really do need to hand out food to the homeless so we can more effectively hit each other with swords.

Or perhaps not.

Perhaps the two are completely unconnected and these people are simply brainwashed by the myth of Bushido. That to be balanced fighters we also need to become better people. That we should study combat and flower arranging. That martial arts are a way of life that make us better people and the improvement in our ability to fight is simply a side effect of this personal improvement.

Of course this is utter crap.

If we want to give more to charity we don't go out and get into fights in the street so why is the converse true?

It isn't.

However it would seem that Edward III thought the same so maybe it's historical after all. It's worth bearing in mind however that The Order of The Round Table was never formed. It was never anything more than a whim.

Perhaps he was an idiot too.

Oh yeah.

Happy New Year.

Debt

2008-12-03T23:02:00.002+13:00

With some newspapers predicting UK national debt to be as high as £1 Trillion by 2012 I thought it was time to mention some debts I have.

The Association of Renaissance Martial Arts.

For sharing sources when it was of little benefit to themselves. Yes they keep some to themselves, but many years ago when HEMA was new and shiny www.thehaca.com was the place to go to find manuscripts. For this, and for providing one of the first dedicated discussion forums I thank you.

Swordforum.

I know this may come as a surprise but I feel that what community there is in HEMA exists in part because of Swordforum. It took the baton from the ARMA forum and ran with it. It was a place for open, frank, and informative discussion. The fact that it no longer is, does not change the fact that it was once the place to be. For this I thank you.

Steve Hick

For spending years searching out new sources and putting them out there for all to see. I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that this man has had more influence on HEMA as a whole than anyone else. For this I thank you.

This is not an exhaustive list, there are many people I have not mentioned. Matt Galas, Fabrice Cognot, Matt Easton to name but a few. There are also websites aplenty who help others with no obvious benefit to themselves www.sirwilliamhope.org, www.the-exiles.org.uk and www.aemma.org spring instantly to mind but there are numerous others.

These debts may not have a financial value, but they are huge non the less.

Books and Authors

2008-11-25T04:23:00.002+13:00

Stephen King's net worth is reputed to be somewhere in excess of $200 million. Yet whenever the subject of money is mentioned to anyone who has written a book on HEMA they never hesitate to tell you that they didn't do it for the money, in fact it cost them money to write it.

This makes me wonder.

If they are telling the truth and the royalties they get from the worldwide sales of their books really are so poor as to actually cost them money, why then did they bother writing it in the first place?

There must be a reason, it's just that I can't figure it out.

It can't be because they want to share their interpretation with the rest of us. HEMA is pretty unique in that it is, and always has been (at least for the last 15 years), closely linked to the internet. So sharing of information is a doddle. It can be acheived in seconds. One moment you are sat at home looking at a word document, the next you are sharing it with everyone in the world who cares to look.

So it's clearly not about money, and it's certainly not about the dissemination of information.

Surely it can't be something as base as respect? By publishing a book people will respect me? I find it hard to rule this one out even though I think it is very wrong indeed. I respect people who work hard, people who share their work and people who are open to changing their ideas in a truly scientific manner.

I don't have any respect for someone who sets out to stroke their own ego by hiding their interpretation inside a glossy cover and trying to force people to pay them to view it.

Perhaps it is simply the continuance of a longstanding tradition. The sources we study exist because they were written down, and so setting our own work down is simply following in the footsteps of those martial artists who came before us. However this doesn't hold water.

At least not quite.

If you want to set your interpretation down for everyone to see, to gain respect and to enter into the age old tradition that we are striving to be part of then open source is the way to go. It gets you work far more exposure than it would if you put it in a hard cover and set a price on it. You might not make it onto Amazon.com but if your work is any good then you will stimulate interest in yourself as a teacher. That way you really can start to make some money.

Not that many teachers earn as much as Stephen King.

So maybe it is about the money after all...

Evolution and memetics

2008-11-06T05:54:00.005+13:00

If we are to believe Darwin then we are simply organic vehicles that exist to ensure the survival of the genes we carry. Those genes give us the characteristics and ability to ensure we can pass them on to others and so ensure an unbroken line of genetic existance.

Richard Dawkins took this idea and applied it to information. These packets of information, or memes, behave in a very similar way to genes. They are passed from one vehicle to another, sometimes changing identity along the way. So perhaps we can look at vehicles designed to pass on memes in the same way that we do so with those that pass on genes.

The problem humans have when passing on their genes is that they are only able to do so for a relatively short period of time. They start off too small and ineffectual, then reach maturity and are able to replicate many times, however this ability tails off and the genes passed on are more likely to be faulty. Eventually the person becomes unable to pass on their genes and then they die.

This process can be applied to internet discussion forums. They exist for the purpose of sharing information, or memes. Initially when a forum is created, it is too small and there is not enough traffic for it to be able to function properly. Then as it grows it starts to become a place where information is first collected from, and then disseminated to, a large number of other vehicles, be they other websites, groups, or individuals.

However as the forum continues to grow it is inevitable that some controls will be placed on the memetic dissemination that occurs, this process eventually leads to a gradual decrease in the introduction of new memes, and so begins the process of decline. If we are willing to follow this theory through to its logical conclusion there will come a point where the forum is no longer able to pass on quality memes and eventually ceases to exist as a source of information at all.

If we accept this, (and I'm not really suggesting that we should, just that it is an interesting comparison) then perhaps we should not look at SFI as a bad place at all, simply as a senile forum that needs our support and care in order to continue to exist. Of course there will come a day when it is no longer able to do so and then we should mourn its passing. But until then we should look at it as a ailing geriatric too decrepit to look after itself any more.

A thing I like.

2008-10-29T02:54:00.003+13:00

It has been mentioned that this blog is all about what I don't like. That's not true, there is a picture of kittens, and what's not to like there?

Though I'd like to make a special mention for these guys.

They seem to have got the balance right between aesthetic and safety when it comes to equipment. They look modern and professional, something most groups struggle with.

They fight as if they mean it without being overly aggresive, I have yet to see a single video (and there are a lot of them out there) where they look sloppy.

Lastly, and most irritatingly,somehow they all seem to be decent people. If you're going to copy any group then you could do a lot worse than the GHFS.

To entertain you here are two of them in the final of the longsword competition at this year's Fightcamp. (A co-incidence? Probably not.)

Under pressure

2008-10-27T08:34:00.003+13:00

It seems I may have created a monster

Every day a new HEMA Blog appears, Hemaman, Hemagirl, Hemadog, Hemagoth, and more lately Baskethilt Broadsword Boy and Sword Punk.

I don’t know whether to be flattered or annoyed.

A part of me believes that imitation is indeed the sincerest form of flattery, that somehow my actions have made it acceptable to be honest about your feelings and get them out there for other people to read. That part of me is quite happy indeed with the situation and would dearly love more to start

However there is another part of me that isn’t quite so keen. That part of me understands that there is a finite amount of reading any one person can do and that the larger the pool of writing there is to draw from, the smaller the chance it is me that they are reading. That is the part that enjoyed it immensely when I stood alone and people were discussing my every word.

It isn’t a very big part of me though.

I am too much a capitalist at heart. I honestly believe that competition is a good thing.

The more blogs there are, the more I have to strive to make mine the one that stands out. The more competition there is, the better the overall result will be.

This is also true of original source interpretations.

Every time I talk to someone about what I do I want them to question me. I don’t want them to simply take what I say as the gospel truth (an odd phrase for an atheist I know). I want to be constantly under pressure to show my reasoning. I want my interpretation to be forced to prove itself both against the intricacies of the source manuscript, but also against physical pressure.

Yes it works, but does it work when I am tired, gasping for breath, filled with adrenaline and being watched by everyone else?

Ok so it works, but does it match the manuscript? Is there anything that I do that is contradicted by the text or the pictures?

Does my interpretation make sense when compared to that of other people who have looked at the same source? Can they show me something that better fits the facts?

In summary, am I the best? If not then why not?

Could it be that I spend too much time typing and not enough training?

Is it too much to ask to be the best at both?

Beyond comprehension

2008-10-25T10:37:00.003+13:00

When I was at junior school we used to do something called "comprehension". It was pretty simple stuff, you read a short piece of writing and then answered some basic questions on it in order to show that you had understood what it was that you had just read.

I suspect this sounds familiar to a lot of you.

However this basic skill seems to be beyond the capacity of a large number of WMA practitioners.

Take for example the recent comment on my post "A Victory" by Baskethit (sic) Broadsword boy. Now let's ignore the fact that he cannot tell the difference between "your" and "you're" and look at the line "BTY, what your problem with Page?"

Leaving aside the somewhat maverick approach to grammar let's just focus on the question.

I have mentioned Page it is true. In the post entitled "Removed post 2" I wrote the following paragraph:

"We have Stephenpaul Wagnerhand, the amorphous Australian duo who have so far managed to get I.33 wrong, Silver wrong and are currently working on getting the collected medieval English manuscripts wrong. Did I mention Page?"

I was initially thrown as I didn't think I had expressed any problems with Page. But perhaps I had implied something without realising it. I read it again No, there was still nothing more than a clear implication that Stephenpaulwagnerhand have yet again got it wrong, but nothing related to a problem with Page's system.

The reason that there is nothing related to me having a problem with Page's system is simple.

I don't have a problem with Page's system.

I do have a problem with the interpretation demonstrated by Stephenpaulwagnerhand.

I also have a problem with anyone claiming that what Page shows is "Highland Broadsword" when there is some clear evidence (you will note I use the word evidence, not the word proof, they are not the same thing) that it is not. I am referring of course to the excellent essay by Bethan Jenkins that you can read here.

What fills me with a sense of sadness approaching despair is the fact that the same people who cannot read and understand simple English, are the ones trying to recreate dead arts from the written word. We need more people like Bethan Jenkins if we are to stand a chance.

As to "Baskethit Broadsword Boy", well he should never have progressed beyond comprehension.

A Victory

2008-10-24T20:16:00.005+13:00

Congratulations to Greg Mele on a stunning victory recently.

Not only have you managed to remove Scott Brown from SFI, you have sent Dave Rawlings packing with him and somehow managed to even remove another moderator who had a habit of disagreeing with you.

I am truly impressed.

Of course it is a shame it has made you look like a petty, scheming, manipulative child, but well done all the same sir!

Competitiveness

2008-10-20T09:45:00.005+13:00

I hate Monopoly.

It all stems from my childhood when I used to play against my brother. He was, and still is, the most competitive person I have ever met. We never actually finished a game, it always ended in a fight. He'd cheat as much as he could and do whatever he could to beat me and anyone else that happened to be foolish enough to think it was an enjoyable game.

With a game like Monopoly you can get away with acting like that because the end goal is to win. Not to increase your level of knowledge of Monopoly.
Unfortunately HEMA is full of people like my brother.

People that simply have to win whatever the cost.

You know who I mean, every club has at least one of them. They don't acknowledge their hits when they are sparring, they sabotage drills in order to be the one that wins. They always react just a little bit faster than you, even when you are supposed to working slowly. They always hit you as hard and fast as they can and then moan when you hit them.

In short they are wankers.

They stop their own development and that of anyone unfortunate enough to have to partner them.

Drills are there to help develop technique and understanding, not just to prove to everyone how big a cock you've got.

Sparring is about applying the knowledge gained in drills and exercises in a stressful environment. It is about improving your ability by pushing yourself. It is about learning. It is not simply about being better than everyone else.

If you ever catch yourself not acknowledging a cut, or moaning about being hit, or trying to win when you should be concentrating on just getting it right then stop what you're doing right away. Take deep breath and apologise to your training partner. If you've noticed then you can bet your life they noticed first. Then start again and try and do it properly.

If you want to win then there are plenty of competitions you could enter. There's even a website specifically for them now.

Just don't play Monopoly with my brother, you won't stand a chance.

Masters and spoilt children

2008-10-19T10:04:00.003+13:00

When I was at school my biology teacher hated me.

Not a surprise I hear you say, we don't even know who you are and already some of us hate you.

I suggest you learn to live with it. I manage somehow.

Anyway we were talking about my teacher.

He hated me because I hated him.

Actually it wasn't quite that simple. I didn't just hate him. I went out of my way to prove him wrong at every opportunity because he simply couldn't abide to be wrong.

I'd sit up long into the night watching the Open University on tv and reading my dad's geology books in order to be able to prove him wrong. It was the high point of my week if I could do it in front of the rest of the class. I managed it quite a few times, and so he grew to hate me.

What on earth does this have to do with WMA I hear you ask.

Well it's simple.

I hate people that can't admit that they may be wrong.

We are recreating lost arts from historical texts. There is no direct lineage, and there are no masters, so anyone who won't admit that they might not have all the facts is either a fool, or a conman.

Possibly both.

The great thing is that, if you only let it, this becomes your biggest strength. You don't have all the facts, and so you better yourselves and your martial abilities by constantly striving to improve your understanding. Every facet of every interpretation is tested to the extreme, and then tested again. Every single technique is shown to work or it is abandoned and you go back to the drawing board.

If however you choose to stop questioning and start to believe that you have all the answers then you have failed. You have no masters, no direct lineage and no desire to better yourselves. You have nothing.

You might think that it makes you look as if you are a master in your own right, but to the rest of us who are still learning, questioning and growing, it makes you look nothing more than a spoilt child who can't bear to be proved wrong in front of other people.

Much like my old teacher.

He got away with it because he was a washed up old cynic who never taught anything more important than high school biology.

I'm aiming for something better.

How about you?

Identity and Anonimity

2008-10-17T22:42:00.002+13:00

This blog is anonymous for a reason. That reason is not because I am a coward who won't put their name to their thoughts. I will happily espouse the same thoughts in person and by name on the internet. I'll use the words of James Marwood of safeism.com to explain the reason.

"Blogs like HEMAboy, whilst amusing, also serve to surface tension. To show where conflict exists and get people talking about it. For example I was politely critical of the decision of the Hammaborg guys to drop out of the recent Open Championships and then make a point of implying they would have won if they hadn’t. I thought this churlish and unsporting. HEMAboy had similar concerns and took the piss a bit. This got some of us talking more about what happened which has lessened the emotion involved. Once Roland calms down I’m sure all will be well again."

If you think you know who I am then please keep it to yourself. If you need to be certain then email me at hemaboy99@gmail.com and I'll let you know if you're right.

In the mean time please don't kill the blog.

Silver

2008-10-17T04:51:00.007+13:00

What is it with Silver?

What's the deal? I don't get it. It's an awful lot of overweight guys, who aren't skilled enough to do proper medieval swordwork, flouncing about looking camp isn't it?

Is it because it is written in English? That must make it easier to interpret right?

Maybe it's because he clearly doesn't like rapiers. No-one with any sense likes them do they?

Is it just that he tells you if you do what he says then you'll be better than everyone else?

Or is it just that people are hooked by the idea that if they do Silver then they are in fact a proper English Gentleman?

If they quote George's xenephobic rants they can pretend that they get to sit at a small table on a hill being served fine roast beef by their butler, while directing a battle in the valley down below?

They can dust off their nylon dinner jacket once a year and drink port with their friends and imagine they really are the last bastion of the British Empire.

Of course I might be wrong.

Silver may indeed describe a wonderful martial art.

But most Silver practitioners don't. They just bore us with the same few tired old quotes and same few ineffective moves.

Take your cheap tweed and leave the fighting to those of us who want to do it properly.

Removed post 4

2008-10-16T05:50:00.001+13:00

Poteet in Texas is a small rural community in trouble. Its population is 3300 and it has 30 registered sex offenders, that is one for every 110 people. Even the Mayor is a convicted child molester.

Thinking about a community with so much wrong with it got me to thinking about the international WMA community.

There is however a problem with that.

There isn’t an international WMA community.

There isn’t even a national one, whichever country you happen to live in.

Do I really need to explain?

If you’re the leader of a pseudo-medieval “Order of Chivalry” then what the hell do you have in common with Thrusty McDojo rapierboy?

Nothing.

There is no way you and your group in your perfectly authentic wool-effect doublets would gain from being associated with him and his in their matching t-shirts and hero worship training syllabus.

In the same way that there is no reason the academic giants among us (and I use the term with a pinch of irony) would seek to benefit their practise by associating with Sir Rattan of Renfair and his assorted retainers.

So why do people still talk about the worldwide HES (or WMA, or HEMA, or HF, or HWMA depending on which bit of the non-existant community you are in) community?

Because they want to feel that they are part of a giant growing organisation.

I’ve got news for you.

It’s never going to happen. Groups don’t get more cohesive as they grow, they get more divisive and exclusive.

If you need to associate with other people then why not choose people you like? Just do what you do as well as you can and if it’s good enough it will grow.

If it isn’t then it won’t, but at least you’ll have stopped pretending that your Fiore Longsword classes are the same thing as the next town’s Highland Broadsword.

It isn’t all bad news though.

At least you don’t live in Poteet.

Removed post 3

2008-10-16T05:49:00.001+13:00

This is going to be a quicky so brace yourself.

All across the internet there are arguments about what the best weapons to train with are. Wooden wasters break all the time and don’t balance properly, modified shinai bounce too much and just look wrong. Nylon won’t bind properly. You’ve seen the posts. You know what I mean.

I have one thing to say to everyone who worries about how they are going to get the perfect training weapon.

You are an idiot.

You are supposed to be practising a martial art. The idea is to improve your own technique and abilities, not simply search for something that is a sharp sword in every respect but the one that matters.

Just fucking train with with what you’ve got and stop ruining our lives by moaning to us about how we’ve all got it wrong.

Is it a coincidence that the only significant injury at Art of Mars’ recent international tournament was caused by someone who claimed the safe tournament weapons weren’t good enough for them to be able to use?

I doubt it.

If you can fight then you can fight with whatever you have got. If you can only fight with your own cunningly modifed Albion Lichtenauer then you can’t fight at all.

Removed post 2

2008-10-16T05:48:00.000+13:00

Many years ago Sword Forum was the place to be. The discussions there were in depth, they were relevant and they involved some of the most educated and experienced practitioners and researchers from around the world. These days it would seem that it is a different story altogether.

If you want to worship at the altar of a select group of “names” (I include the word in quotation marks because it is a word that has been used on that very forum to describe the people in question) and bask in their reflected glory then it is the place for you. If you want to find out what the difference between two almost identical production swords is when used to practice Ringeck’s system as described by Christian Tobler, then it is the place for you. If you want to discuss (at length) what sort of footwear you should be wearing if you dedicate your life to Viggiani’s system then it is the place for you.

If however you want something other than idol worship, or mundane trivia then I’d stay away. Not that there are many better places to be, they all have their clique, but the select group on SFI has had much more time to evolve and become irreversably entrenched. They reflect many different schools and traditions, but together they work as one. It didn’t used to be that way, there were many big names. But they have been whittled away one by one.

First the HACA were removed (now the ARMA for those of us who are new to this game). Almost to a man the SFI clique closed ranks on John Clements, then slowly but surely all his closest disciples were banned. Anyone who vocally supported what the ARMA were doing and stood by the man who started it all for them fell by the wayside. Lots of others followed over the next few years. Matt Easton left with the Schola crowd following on behind him en masse. Bob Charron used to a regular but is now hardly every to be seen. Milo Thurston has vanished, and almost every person who is entitled to the description “Maestro” now stays away. Scott Brown was the latest casualty to fall to this cleansing.

People like David Rawlings, Martin Austwick and Colin Richards still post every now and again, but over the last year they seem to have been effectively sidelined and labelled as trolls who don’t want to be part of the great love-in that is SFI.

So now we just have Greg Mele, the one true authority on all things Italian, or all things renaissance, or maybe just all things period.

We have Christian Tobler. The Lichtenauer guy. A man who is doggedly publishing every manuscript every written.

We have Terry Brown. He rarely posts, but question anything to do with English Martial Arts and his opinion will be stated for you. Normally by Greg.

We have Stephenpaul Wagnerhand, the amorphous Australian duo who have so far managed to get I.33 wrong, Silver wrong and are currently working on getting the collected medieval English manuscripts wrong. Did I mention Page?

There are also a few groupies, hangers-on like Steven Reich and Sean Hayes. They float around and point out that they are cleverer than you, they also like to point out that Guy Windsor is cleverer than you too.

Now I could be doing them an injustice, they could truly be a nice group of guys who have, by a freak of chance, been involved in every major split in WMA since the birth of the internet. They could indeed be the guiltless parties in every falling out that has occured.

Or perhaps maybe not.

Removed post 1

2008-10-16T05:47:00.001+13:00

Remember Cityboy? Well perhaps not, but I do. He wrote a column in the daily press exposing what actually went on in the financial world. Well we all know the financial world is screwed now so there’s not much point in carrying on with that. Besides, he’s gone public and recanted all his sinful ways so is now dull as fuck.

This is an insider’s Blog about the international world of Historical European Martial Arts. I’m not planning on being tactful, I’m not planning on making friends. I am however planning on being honest and telling it how it is. You may think you know who I am, you may be right, but then again you may not. I could care less either way. I’ll give you a couple of clues though. I’m a native English speaker and I’ve taught in The States and in one or two places in Europe. That’s as good as you get.

Before I leave you to your frenzied contemplation about my true identity I’d like to offer a thought to occupy your lonely evenings.

A new manuscript has recently come to light. Fabrice Cognot from De Taille et d’Estoc in Dijon came across it on the website of the Bibliothèque nationale de France. It turns out that it was only on their website because Ken Mondschein had located it and had it scanned some time earlier. I’d heard on the quiet some time before Fabrice’s announcement that it had been found, but little in the way of details. Had Fabrice? Who knows? Maybe it was a coincidence of truly staggering proportions.

Both of these researchers are “professional” academics, but only one of them is a wanker of truly biblical proportions. One of them diligently searched for years for a manuscript he was sure existed and eventually found it, but kept it to himself. The other found it “by chance” and immediately shared it with the entire worldwide community. One of them searches out knowledge in order to gloat in the darkness of their mind like a bibliophilic golum holding their precious away from anyone who might take it. The other understands that knowledge is power, but you only get to exercise that power by sharing the knowledge.

You guess which one the twat is.

An explanation

2008-10-16T05:41:00.003+13:00

As a few people correctly guessed Hemaboy was a collaborative venture.

The collaboration is no more. There was a difference in opinion as to how we should react to the mixed reactions presented. To those of you who supported us thank you, to those of you who were offended please do not be (with one exception, you have a right to be offended, we were indeed offensive).

This is why the posts were pulled from the site. As the collaboration is no more you can rest assured that those posts will re-appear shortly. I am truly sorry that the comments have been lost, please feel free to re-post them, they are all welcome.

Even the offensive ones.

No, especially the offensive ones.

I (the remaining member of the collaboration) intend to carry on this blog in the manner it started. I suspect as time passes the original posts that were authored by me will become clear and my identity will become common knowledge. I am more than happy with this, there is little that has been said by Hemaboy that I would not put my name to. I'd like to ask your indulgence and request that you not try too hard to find out the identity of the person or persons who are no longer Hemaboy. They no longer wish to be associated with it. I believe they are wrong but I respect their decision.

Expect to see some more posts on the subjects that have been raised, and expect to see some more examples of what I believe is good in the world of WMA.

This is good.

2008-10-15T22:26:00.001+13:00

That is it.

Wardrobes and swords

2008-10-15T21:10:00.002+13:00

You can have this one back. I like it too much to leave it out.

I bought an flat-pack wardrobe recently.

My wife and I were assembling it together and it caused quite a row. You see I am a man, I don't do instructions. She on the other hand is not a man and so she likes to follow the instructions to make sure she does it properly.

I tried to explain that I already understood how it worked and I didn't have to follow instructions written by some mindless cretin in an office somewhere, but she was having none of it.

This of course got me to thinking about swords and HEMA.

Why is it that men the world over are incapable of following instructions when building a piece of furniture, but when it comes to recreating a historical system of combat they will do nothing but repeat what the manuscript tells them?

Let me put that another way.

How many seminars have you been to where the instructor explains what a source says and then proceeds to take you through the techniques as they are described in the manuscript?

A lot I suspect.

How is this a martial art?

It's not. It is re-enactment. It's not even good re-enactment. There are no well endowed women in dresses that are too small, there are no large bits of pig hanging over fires built in oddly unhistorical metal trays.

What makes a martial art different is that it involves understanding of the underpinning concepts. Not just a rote learning of x technique against y technique. A true understanding of exactly why x technique works against y technique, and conversely why z technique would not be appropriate.

There are plenty of Re-enactors masquerading as HEMA instructors out there, but there are precious few martial artists. Next time you go along to your salle ask your instructor why a technique works. Ask them how it fits within the big picture of the system and ask them about what exercises and drills you can practice at home to help you develop your own understanding of the body mechanics behind the system. If they're a martial artist they'll answer without any hesitation. If they can't then you might want to ask yourself why you're paying someone to teach you when they are simply reading instructions from a book.

Any idiot can follow instructions, it takes a real man to throw them away because he understands it already.

It's just a shame my wife disagrees. I have to admit that the wardrobe looks lovely though.

As close to an apology as you are likely to get

2008-10-15T09:40:00.002+13:00

I take it all back.

Knowledge is not power

SFI is still the place where all the best debate happens and no-one has ever left

The best way to perfect your technique is to get a better tool

Simply repeating the instructions in a book is a highly complex martial art

and

There is indeed a fully functioning global WMA community.

It would seem that it is impossible to point out negative trends without unwittingly implying personal insults, and as that was never the intention of this blog I have removed the earlier posts.

Though never fear, I have not gone. (I can almost hear the collected sigh of relief)

I will simply try to steer this ship closer to the kittens from now on and further away from the rocky waters of divisiveness.

I do miss the entry about wardrobes though, I was quite proud of that one.

Happy thoughts

2008-10-15T07:25:00.001+13:00

Here are some kittens to keep you smiling.